Here is my Story...
- Jen
- Oct 1, 2017
- 5 min read
My name is Jennifer. I am currently 18 with a crazy dream to bring better awareness to PCOS. If you would have told me a few years ago I would be open to sharing this story I'd tell you, you were insane. Here we go, it all started 5 years ago when I was hospitalized with what they thought was appendicitis. Turns out I had a 1 inch cyst on my right ovary, which they didn't want to blast since I was only 13 at the time. That is not when I found out I had PCOS. It took way longer than that! It was 2 years later ,I was 15 it was April I had whacked up hormones and abnormal hair growth (yes it was horrific). As embarrassed as I was I decided to tell my doctor. She said,"Time to see an endocrinologist." I was like okay, it's my thyroid no biggie. Turns out it was more than that. My endocrinologist did many sonograms and more tests. One day I went to her office to figure out what was going on. I was sitting in the room with my mom and the resident came to speak with me. She heard my laundry list of complaints (mood swings, fatigue, the list went on). As she left I looked at my mom and she looked at me waiting to hear it was my thyroid. The resident went back to the doctor's office and left the door open a little. Since the doctor's door was open we heard," I expect it could be PCOS." Once the resident saw us she abruptly closed the door. I sat there confused wanting to take my phone out and google what is PCOS? But I didn't ,I patiently waited for my doctor to enter the room. She came in and began to talk with me. She said," Jennifer you have PCOS." At the time I had no clue what it was and asked,"Will I die from it?" She of course reassured me I won't, my hormones are insanely out of whack and my ovaries have pearls on them (my term for cysts). She told me we had to opt for treatment. I accepted her decision and began the medication. At first I was reluctant to the fact I had to take medication and tried to fight my doctor for 5 months. Until, I finally gave in and the results I have seen are amazing. PSA, Listen to your doctors they know what they are doing ! At the time I faced this weird stage of hating myself. I wouldn't want to attend parties ever. I could never find anything to wear. I felt like a misfit toy. I seriously struggled with hating who I was. I was only 15 and confused with what PCOS even was. I was scared. I felt alone like no one else had this problem. I never felt comfortable speaking to anyone about it so I would bottle up all these emotions and so much fear inside. Only those closest to me knew what was actually happening. I silently struggled for a while. I expected treatment to work in days or weeks, false alarm it took 6-24 months. At first, little did I know it was going to take 6-24 months. I was bummed. I wanted a miracle. When I look back, I commend my doctor for shooting down my miracle assumption and regret being so reluctant at first. This lady was trying so hard to help me when I first entered her office and I didn't listen. After a while I gave in, did as she told me, went for my visits and all those fun tests. I took blood work and had the opportunity to watch the levels that were once sky high begin to get lower and lower. I finally had hope. Before I knew it I was down 42 pounds( in about 6 months). Insane to think I lost that much weight from one medication but I did. I went through so many mood swings, I'm sure some of us are not strangers to the up and down emotions. I was basically pmsing for like a year straight with all my moods. It was honestly a roller coaster ride. Once it hit February 2016, I was about 20 pounds down and decided screw hating myself, time to love the girl in the mirror in front of me every morning. That was when I started an inspirational wall. Everyday I would hang a new quote so I had a reason to smile every morning when I was getting dressed. I would read one of my quotes and in the mirror say " Good Morning Beautiful! I love you." That was probably the best decision I made. I began to love myself from head to toe which for a while seemed impossible. If you know me personally, you know I do not wear make up daily, simply thats me. I am the messy bun, leggings, all natural girl. So the first time I put on make up with a confident attitude,of course, I fell in love with myself and how gorgeous I looked. That day there were a million selfies on my camera roll and even an Instagram post on my personal account (which is extremely rare for me). Even though I was feeling so beautiful physically, deep down I knew I was the prettiest person on the inside too. I finally realized it, it was a miracle to feel this way. This September marked 3 years of celebrating awareness month in my teal. I can not thank anyone who has stuck by me during this journey enough, you mean the world to me. This February will mark 2 years of feeling confident in my own skin, I hope to have a huge celebration. I have seriously been through it all. I know how frustrating it is sometimes. I know how easy it is to look in the mirror and cry over how ugly you think you are. I have been there but my mission is to help other woman not go there or get out of it like I have. I don't want to be the only one able to look in the mirror and cry at the beautiful girl in front of me now. It's an insane journey and you can feel alone at times. Especially if you are like me and fear telling anyone you are struggling because you thought, they'd pity you or you were sick or ugly or you couldn't do anything or you were fat or any stereotype out there, I understand I was once there. I waited till I prevailed to share my story with people. If anyone tells me " You look great! How?" I tell them my story of success. I have told security guards my story when they saw how fat my face looks in my license compared to now. I never thought being this open to letting out this side to me was even possible well, turns out it is! In the end of the day, PCOS chose me but I will not let it stop me!
Feel free to subscribe, follow my Instagram @PCOSCantStopMe319 , twitter @PCOSCantStopMe and if you are in a real jam send an email.
I had to choose a Beyonce gif because she is clearly queen! I feel it does fit, we do not want people to feel bad for us and treat us like less of a person because you have PCOS. We don't need your sympathy. But, we can use your support and your respect! It is greatly appreciated!
That's it for now I will be back to post again soon! Remember to love yourself, you are beautiful.
Best Always,
Jen
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